Once More Into The Breach

Our severely learning-disabled sixteen year-old daughter, Helen (not her real name), is entirely dependent on others for intimate care. Nearly two years ago, her special school sent round a new intimate care policy, which had been ratified by its governing body: 

“A decision has been made to remove cross-gender consent from the personal and intimate care policy, which is in line with legislation and guidance relating to equality and diversity”.  

In other words, same-sex intimate care had now become cross-gender intimate care, a change of policy that would allow male members of staff to take Helen to the loo, one-to-one, behind a closed door. As her parents, our reaction was initially disbelief, followed by outrage, and a determination that this policy change should be reversed. Life as parents of a severely learning-disabled, autistic and non-verbal daughter certainly has its worries, and some of these are the focus of this blog. But there is a danger, in writing at length about our worries and fears for Helen’s present and future, that we leave readers thinking our experience is one of unending woe, for which we are seeking sympathy. 

Their threatened rights include:

• The right to have women-only care staff dealing with intimate care, helping use the loo and manage menstruation.
• The right to go to a women’s clothes shop, changing room, or bra-fitting service, and for there to be only women present.
• The right not to be seen naked by or see naked men in swimming pool changing rooms (Helen loves swimming).

Obviously, nobody could imagine that male staff would be thought routinely eligible for roles providing intimate care to severely learning-disabled girls, right?  Wrong.