Eliza Mondegreen at a recent Genspect gathering in Killarney, Ireland gave the following talk: Trans Identity and Doubt. I’ll point out some highlights, but you should read the whole thing.
She did a deep dive into several online (Reddit) Trans-communities. The self-doubt was everywhere and assiduously dissuaded as a threat to the “community.” For example:
So you can say: I can’t let go of the fear that I’m faking it and that this is all a huge mistake. But the conclusion is predetermined: your fears are irrational. Your doubts are misplaced. You must say so yourself, and then the community reinforces your refusal to take your questions and doubts as serious challenges to your self-identity and decision to transition. Not only that: your doubts are a sign you’re really trans.
She discusses how online communities can both support and challenge individuals questioning their gender identity, and how these communities often dismiss doubts about trans identity by labeling them as “internalized transphobia” or “intrusive thoughts.”
Mondegreen also discusses the concept of “imposter syndrome” within the trans community, where individuals may feel like they are not genuinely their identified gender. She argues that these feelings of doubt and uncertainty are often dismissed or reframed as evidence of a person’s trans identity, rather than being taken seriously as potential indicators of a need for further exploration or support.
These confused kids need our help. But in the main, they are not getting it. What they get are online “friends” coaching them down a predetermined path.
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Love Refuses To Affirm Confusion